minxy
09-18-2007, 02:37 PM
its really a painfull story of a teen which i read in a newspaper a week back and thought of posting over here cuz its really gonna help someone over here
My name is Tori. I'm 15 years old and a freshman. I am a singer and currently in a hardworking metal band. I love to write songs and stories. I'm vegetarian. I consider myself pretty nice and fairly easy to get along with. Oh, and did I mention I just recently found out I have had trichotillomania (trich) since the 4th grade?
What is trichotillomania? It's an anxiety disorder which is related to obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). It is a compulsive hair-pulling disorder. Whoever has it may pull out their hair from their head, their eyebrows, their eyelashes, their pubic hair, or anywhere else that has hair on their body.
It is done a lot for stress or relief, and some don't know why they do it. And in my case, it's both. Wow, enough to make me feel insane! I have a disorder.
No one noticed really that I had really thin, often no, eyebrows when I was only 7, 8, or 9, and neither did I. But before I started pulling, I remember a mean, fat boy told me I had ugly eyebrows and that they were thick and bushy, when really, they weren't even close to thick or bushy. I think that may have triggered me to start pulling because what little girl doesn't want to be pretty? And I guess I had it in my mind then, that I couldn't be a pretty little girl with thick, bushy brows. So I pulled them out, totally massacred them!
I didn't see myself until the next day. I remember walking into school; I was so proud! Hey, I must've been pretty now; I didn't have bushy eyebrows. Actually, I had none. And I got made fun of even more. I didn't know what to think. I was just a little kid; I thought I had done good! Everyone thought I had done it on accident, and I let them believe that. They seemed to forget about it. But after that first time, the urges to pull as soon as they began to grow came. It instantly became a need to pull.
Around 6th grade, when I started pulling my eyelashes, was when people started to take concerned notice. I was 11, moving from an elementary school to the "big kid" school. I was well-liked. All my friends from elementary school were in my class, and there were new kids I didn't know but wanted to be friends with. About a month or two into that year, after school pictures, I pulled out my eyelashes; for what reason I can't remember. I didn't think it was a big deal, and I went to school with my eyes naked. I thought I was still decent-looking; I didn't think eyelashes mattered. But then someone asked me, "What's wrong with your eyes?" I didn't wear makeup then and I never thought my "unlashed" eyes were so noticeable. That was the first time I looked at myself and thought I was ugly. Since that day it's been penciled-on eyebrows and caked-on eyeliner.
Seventh grade possibly was the WORST year. I was the "Goth" kid, the outcast, the one who did not "care" how others saw me... Can we say I was totally faking that? Yeah! I so cared how people saw me. I didn't want people thinking I was a freak; who would? I got made fun of by boys mostly, and that really hurt because looking back on my pictures, I was so pretty! I was a natural blond, tall, thin girl, with bright green eyes and a happy smile. But back then all I could see was a freak, a girl who couldn't control these strange urges, who didn't know why she "mutilated" herself. I cried a lot in that year. I ran away from home a lot that year. I had a lot of jokes played on me that year (some even by my closest family members).
I remember one joke, probably the scariest and the most hurtful. I had one picture of me on my AIM profile, and it was a school picture, totally appropriate and I had no eyebrows in it; well, they were penciled on. A bunch of boys started calling me and telling me how good I looked. I wasn't buying it. Finally, someone called me panicking, saying they saw my picture on a pornography web page. I didn't believe it until everyone started telling me. But I had no inappropriate pictures! Someone had cut and pasted my face onto a porn star's body. It looked fake because the body was toned and tanned while I am pole-thin and pale, so it didn't look real at all, but it was still hurtful. I never found out if it really got put on a site and I highly doubt it did, but I got the picture sent to me. And under the picture, in big bold font, it said, "Brow-less Prostitute -- She's ugly and she's free." I was humiliated. Everyone began calling me a prostitute after that prank. It was enough being the "Goth" kid of the school and getting made fun of for listening to Cradle Of Filth and liking vampires; I thought I had a mutilation problem; and now a rumor was being spread that I was a 12-year-old prostitute.
My mother was a really hard person to deal with. She was constantly screaming in my face, telling me how ashamed she was to have such an ugly daughter, telling me I was crazy, telling me I was worthless, telling me I was not a trophy girl like she used to be. She begged me to quit. She offered me rewards. She even threatened me. I would stop for a while, like a week, but then I would pull out double the amount. Whenever she began to bring it up, that's when the trich pretty much got worse and stayed.
Eighth grade was an interesting year. I put up my "Goth" gear, and decided to work on being the typical fake popular girl. I had grown back my light brown eyebrows; I now had long, thick, beautiful lashes, all of it real! I wore mascara! I loved playing up my eyes drawing as much attention as I could. I loved getting my eyebrows waxed. I loved not having to get up every damn morning and NOT having to pencil on eyebrows and caking on eyeliner. I felt amazing; I felt free! I thought it was gone for good. I no longer mutilated myself. I WAS LIVING AGAIN! I was popular; I became on top.
this is part one of the story , i would post part two afterwards when i get some good response for u all.
thanks,
minxy.
My name is Tori. I'm 15 years old and a freshman. I am a singer and currently in a hardworking metal band. I love to write songs and stories. I'm vegetarian. I consider myself pretty nice and fairly easy to get along with. Oh, and did I mention I just recently found out I have had trichotillomania (trich) since the 4th grade?
What is trichotillomania? It's an anxiety disorder which is related to obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). It is a compulsive hair-pulling disorder. Whoever has it may pull out their hair from their head, their eyebrows, their eyelashes, their pubic hair, or anywhere else that has hair on their body.
It is done a lot for stress or relief, and some don't know why they do it. And in my case, it's both. Wow, enough to make me feel insane! I have a disorder.
No one noticed really that I had really thin, often no, eyebrows when I was only 7, 8, or 9, and neither did I. But before I started pulling, I remember a mean, fat boy told me I had ugly eyebrows and that they were thick and bushy, when really, they weren't even close to thick or bushy. I think that may have triggered me to start pulling because what little girl doesn't want to be pretty? And I guess I had it in my mind then, that I couldn't be a pretty little girl with thick, bushy brows. So I pulled them out, totally massacred them!
I didn't see myself until the next day. I remember walking into school; I was so proud! Hey, I must've been pretty now; I didn't have bushy eyebrows. Actually, I had none. And I got made fun of even more. I didn't know what to think. I was just a little kid; I thought I had done good! Everyone thought I had done it on accident, and I let them believe that. They seemed to forget about it. But after that first time, the urges to pull as soon as they began to grow came. It instantly became a need to pull.
Around 6th grade, when I started pulling my eyelashes, was when people started to take concerned notice. I was 11, moving from an elementary school to the "big kid" school. I was well-liked. All my friends from elementary school were in my class, and there were new kids I didn't know but wanted to be friends with. About a month or two into that year, after school pictures, I pulled out my eyelashes; for what reason I can't remember. I didn't think it was a big deal, and I went to school with my eyes naked. I thought I was still decent-looking; I didn't think eyelashes mattered. But then someone asked me, "What's wrong with your eyes?" I didn't wear makeup then and I never thought my "unlashed" eyes were so noticeable. That was the first time I looked at myself and thought I was ugly. Since that day it's been penciled-on eyebrows and caked-on eyeliner.
Seventh grade possibly was the WORST year. I was the "Goth" kid, the outcast, the one who did not "care" how others saw me... Can we say I was totally faking that? Yeah! I so cared how people saw me. I didn't want people thinking I was a freak; who would? I got made fun of by boys mostly, and that really hurt because looking back on my pictures, I was so pretty! I was a natural blond, tall, thin girl, with bright green eyes and a happy smile. But back then all I could see was a freak, a girl who couldn't control these strange urges, who didn't know why she "mutilated" herself. I cried a lot in that year. I ran away from home a lot that year. I had a lot of jokes played on me that year (some even by my closest family members).
I remember one joke, probably the scariest and the most hurtful. I had one picture of me on my AIM profile, and it was a school picture, totally appropriate and I had no eyebrows in it; well, they were penciled on. A bunch of boys started calling me and telling me how good I looked. I wasn't buying it. Finally, someone called me panicking, saying they saw my picture on a pornography web page. I didn't believe it until everyone started telling me. But I had no inappropriate pictures! Someone had cut and pasted my face onto a porn star's body. It looked fake because the body was toned and tanned while I am pole-thin and pale, so it didn't look real at all, but it was still hurtful. I never found out if it really got put on a site and I highly doubt it did, but I got the picture sent to me. And under the picture, in big bold font, it said, "Brow-less Prostitute -- She's ugly and she's free." I was humiliated. Everyone began calling me a prostitute after that prank. It was enough being the "Goth" kid of the school and getting made fun of for listening to Cradle Of Filth and liking vampires; I thought I had a mutilation problem; and now a rumor was being spread that I was a 12-year-old prostitute.
My mother was a really hard person to deal with. She was constantly screaming in my face, telling me how ashamed she was to have such an ugly daughter, telling me I was crazy, telling me I was worthless, telling me I was not a trophy girl like she used to be. She begged me to quit. She offered me rewards. She even threatened me. I would stop for a while, like a week, but then I would pull out double the amount. Whenever she began to bring it up, that's when the trich pretty much got worse and stayed.
Eighth grade was an interesting year. I put up my "Goth" gear, and decided to work on being the typical fake popular girl. I had grown back my light brown eyebrows; I now had long, thick, beautiful lashes, all of it real! I wore mascara! I loved playing up my eyes drawing as much attention as I could. I loved getting my eyebrows waxed. I loved not having to get up every damn morning and NOT having to pencil on eyebrows and caking on eyeliner. I felt amazing; I felt free! I thought it was gone for good. I no longer mutilated myself. I WAS LIVING AGAIN! I was popular; I became on top.
this is part one of the story , i would post part two afterwards when i get some good response for u all.
thanks,
minxy.